Just One of the Many

Sometimes I fear I'll lose my mind,
that I'll end up in an asylum,
the thought fills me with fear,
just then another one strikes me,
pulling me from fear and silently pushing me towards sadness,
I don't know it for a while,
Am awestruck by the magnificence or craziness of my own mind...
I don't know which,
I leap up from my bed,
I find a diary and a shitty pen,
I start writing...just then I realize, and the text changes and starts taking new shape,
I start losing that second thought,
I want to write it down before I lose it from my grasp...

" For then, for once, I'll be alone with my thoughts,
And will be able to shout them out,
Without any fear of being judged,
Without having to make sense to people around,
Without having to listen to reasons,
Without having to listen to advice,
but finally again just a patient ear,
even though it's only mine....
And one day, I might rise from my bed,
and plunge into the eternal silence,
the one eternal truth,
And that shall be the end of my story,
my cage in this world,
Finally they'll move on,
as I will,
I hope for remedies that will heal their wounds,
for me there is but one,
and I'll meet her in the end,
Finally as equals, finally as one...
She won't take pity on me,
She won't judge me for my sins,
but she'll meet me as she meets everyone.
Undesired yet perfect,
Ghoulish yet beautiful...
And she'll kiss me with lips, black as the night sea,
And I'll embrace her, like a lover long lost,
And we'll continue our journey,
to the forests of my thoughts...."