Melancholy of Grief

This is a series of thoughts...i havent given them a skeleton yet....and i dont think i'll get around to it....nevertheless felt like sharing it :)

Mundane chaos, Rampant miseries,
Deliberate lies, Dawning of wisdom, Cloaked over by goals...
Rudimentary voices, a dying thought,
Bludgeoning whispers, a carcass of bones and flesh,
A jigsaw of thousand pieces, all mismatch,
groveled fires, stuffed rage,
a medley of emotions, cracks on surface, nigh visible,
lonely tantrums, tossing in bed,
frantic happenings, all in my head,
reaped sorrows, joys of hell,
poking the devil all the while with mulled footsteps...

A faint smile, sometime in a long time,
stripped callouses, pleasure of feeling pain,
Cracked skulls, oozing mana of brain,
Timid causes, self serving and crisp gain,
Veiled under blarehorns of social pain,
Stigmata, taboos and all sorts of hocus-pocus,
Stages, spot-lights, staying in focus,
Black & white, grey, sepia and all sorts of shades,
Only thing constant: the hidden blades,
Reeking of treachery, of filth and of blame,
Not a single smell that of shame,
Shattered, battered, lonely and lost,
Shying away the ties of yore,
Shrieking, shouting, screaming for help,
Sealed lips in this hell...

Lulled footsteps, faces in veils,
Sneaking away in cornered space,
Hiding, twisting, adjusting the pain,
Biting hard to break the chains,
Gluttony, greed, deep regret,
Cocooned emotions, rusting in depth,
Shackled, battered, tormented beasts,
Grunting in cells, feeding on weeds,
Butchered, scrambled, ideas and thoughts,
Sliced, served, membranes of brain,
Shards of disgrace piercing the robes of pride,
Men running from men in long strides....

Shutting all out, gobbling up poison and pain,
Unquenched thirsts even in rain,
Squinting, looking, reaching in creeks,
Parched throats, thirsty poison,
Gulping down bowls of shame,
Building forts out of haystack,
Looking through a glass eye,
Reminiscing the world is white,
Ramming of black soot, down the throats,
burned flesh, charred souls,
withered away, these dying things,
before their time crumbling.....

Egg Shells

Two stinking egg shells, that's all we are now, you and me...
You believe there is something left in me,
I believe a little yolk is left in you,
But we are just two stinking shells,
you know somewhere deep inside, as do I...
There are no answers to be found here, no questions answered...
Still we look for meaning, without that, who are you? and who am I ?
Two stinking egg shells, halves of a single one...
looking for meaning in an absurd world...

Just One of the Many

Sometimes I fear I'll lose my mind,
that I'll end up in an asylum,
the thought fills me with fear,
just then another one strikes me,
pulling me from fear and silently pushing me towards sadness,
I don't know it for a while,
Am awestruck by the magnificence or craziness of my own mind...
I don't know which,
I leap up from my bed,
I find a diary and a shitty pen,
I start writing...just then I realize, and the text changes and starts taking new shape,
I start losing that second thought,
I want to write it down before I lose it from my grasp...

" For then, for once, I'll be alone with my thoughts,
And will be able to shout them out,
Without any fear of being judged,
Without having to make sense to people around,
Without having to listen to reasons,
Without having to listen to advice,
but finally again just a patient ear,
even though it's only mine....
And one day, I might rise from my bed,
and plunge into the eternal silence,
the one eternal truth,
And that shall be the end of my story,
my cage in this world,
Finally they'll move on,
as I will,
I hope for remedies that will heal their wounds,
for me there is but one,
and I'll meet her in the end,
Finally as equals, finally as one...
She won't take pity on me,
She won't judge me for my sins,
but she'll meet me as she meets everyone.
Undesired yet perfect,
Ghoulish yet beautiful...
And she'll kiss me with lips, black as the night sea,
And I'll embrace her, like a lover long lost,
And we'll continue our journey,
to the forests of my thoughts...."