This one is for Pratsy...I dont know if u'll call this happy...but still i tried :) Hope all of u like it :)
Tere daaman me yeh jahaan paaya hai...
Ruke thehre bahut hum,
Sadiyaan bita din sukoon ki khoj me,
Aaj wo chain, wo sukoon paaya hai,
Tere daaman me yeh jahaan paaya hai...
Ghoomein bahut baagon me,
Kisi bhi phool se khushboo naa aayi,
Par sookhi hui tehni me paraag paaya hai,
Tere daaman me, kuch is tarah yeh jahaan paaya hai...
Ji liye do dashak yahaan dhadak dhadak,
In do dashkon me kahaan ek pal paaya hai,
Ghadi ke toote hue kaanton me waqt paaya hai,
Tere daaman me kuch is tarah yeh jahaan paaya hai...
Chale bahut barsaaton me hum,
Pyaas kabhi kahaan bujhi magar,
Tere nainon ke pyaalon me, santosh paaya hai,
Tere daaman me jahaan paaya hai...
Aag lagaayi bahut uplon me,
Thand par kabhi kuch gayi hi nahi,
Ek chingaari me bhi itni garmi hoti hai,
Yeh aihsaas naa tha,
Tere daaman me yeh aihsaas paaya hai,
Kuch is tarah yeh jahaan paaya hai...
The Devnagari version....
सूखे पत्तों की चरमराहट में संगीत पाया है,
तेरे दामन में यह जहां पाया है ...
रुके ठहरे बहुत हम ,
सदियाँ बितादी सुकून की खोज में ,
आज वो चैन , वो सुकून पाया है ,
तेरे दामन में यह जहां पाया है ...
घूमें बहुत बागों में ,
किसी भी फूल से खुशबू ना आई ,
पर सूखी हुई टहनी में पराग पाया है ,
तेरे दामन में , कुछ इस तरह ये जहां पाया है ...
जी लिए दो दशक यहाँ धदक धदक ,
इन दो दशकों में कहाँ एक पल पाया है ,
घडी के टूटे हुए काँटों में वक़्त पाया है ,
तेरे दामन में कुछ इस तरह ये जहां पाया है ...
चले बहुत बरसातों में हम ,
प्यास कभी कहाँ बुझी मगर ,
तेरे नैनों के प्यालों में , संतोष पाया है ,
तेरे दामन में जहां पाया है ...
आग लगाई बहुत उपलों में ,
ठण्ड पर कभी कुछ गयी ही नहीं ,
एक चिंगारी में भी इतनी गर्मी होती है ,
ये एहसास ना था ,
तेरे दामन में यह एहसास पाया है ,
कुछ इस तरह ये जहां पाया है ...
9 comments:
awesome:) machaya hai...
wanna dedicate a line to u...
इन गुमनाम सी राहो में भी तेरे साथ एक अजीब सा सुकून पाया है ,
तेरी दोस्ती में कुछ इस तरह यह जहां पाया है |
Nice composition :)
nice one :)
See...you are good in writing 'happy' poems as well ;)
Awesome work...really enjoyed reading this...Keep it up!!
And yeah...Thanks for the dedication :) :)
Keep rocking...!!
@Pratyush,Anurag,Padmini: thnx :)
@vijay: waah waah...love u bro...darasal yeh maine tere liye hi likhi hai ;) ...bas kisi ko boliyo mat me aisa bola :D
nice...liked it..
What to say? Don't get delighted. I am not going shower all the appreciation right away.Lets take it one gulp at a time. :P
"Sookhe patton ki charmaraahat me sangeet paaya hai"
Awesome use of oxymoron.Melody through rustling of dry leaves..what should I say about this..I can only add that Yes!Sometimes our ears hear those sounds also which we have learnt to ignore as we grew up..remember the smell of dew-dipped grass in childhood?
"Ruke thehre bahut hum,
Sadiyaan bita din sukoon ki khoj me"
"I stopped and even halted in search of that feeling eluding me so far."It really adds flesh to the skeleton of thoughts which seem to haunt us for ages, when that feeling of incompleteness keeps on pestering us.Something missing is always on the back of the mind. And the time starts crawling if not walking contrary to the perception that time canters on its relentless run.
"Sadiyaan bita din sukoon ki khoj me"
In my opinion, instead of "khoj". "talaash" would have been an apt word as "khoj" is bringing an insipid flavor to the line;breaking the bent of mind and flow while reading.
"Par sookhi hui tehni me paraag paaya hai". Feeling an association with this imagery and share the same point of view. It happened with me once, I went to my village and was just strolling in the neighboring plantations.My life was not doing poetic justice to me neither was I doing anything to improve it.I sat down and started looking around with my eyes lost in the thoughts.Lo and behold!A similar but not congruent dry lifeless branch which you have mentioned caught my attention.At this point onward, my situation differs. That lifeless branch gave way to a small stem having a couple of vibrant green leaves. How sometimes morose and monotonous life gives rise to beautiful things.It was a contrast of ideas and strengthened my hope for rosy future lying ahead for me.See! We are friends not by choice, its been thrusted upon my coherent ideas and similar perceptions.
"Ghadi ke toote hue kaanton me waqt paaya hai" I cannot write something like this.Its beyond the gamuts of my perception.Its novel.Personification of time.Great!
"Chale bahut barsaaton me hum,
Pyaas kabhi kahaan bujhi magar" Beautiful.Reminds me of a great anguish which I felt after that Kota Episode, you'r well aware of which rather the most awared.When I resorted to anything to comfort myself, to hold myself together and to extinguish the fire raging inside me. The sheer feeling of loss or discomfort which felt like a stinging sensation on my insides and on my cutaneous senses. I needed something to anoint that and to tell you what I found nothing. My life can be written as one of the greatest catastrophes ever.Just Kidding!Coming back to the point,that burning desire for human companionship which is evident from your composition if I'm not wrong propels a person to find a source of comfort. He hankers after everything which often end up being mirages which the mankind has been chasing since ages.
"Tere nainon ke pyaalon me, santosh paaya hai"Evergreen pick-up line yet so refreshing and full of romance everytime its employed. To love a person is not to know him/her its just a couple of moments to look into his/her eyes and there you are.Lost in the world of thoughts!Free from all shackles of mundane desires and happenings, losing all inhibitions!You could have done away with the word "santosh".May be used "aaraam" sounds lame I know; but cant come up with anything else at the moment.
"Ek chingaari me bhi itni garmi hoti hai,
Yeh aihsaas naa tha"
Thats the spark of life, thats the spark of love!The craving which starts with dreams and satiates with that very spark which brings end to all weary period of turmoil and inherent desires of everyone. That warmth of companionship as if world has nobody else than you two.No more the trivial things take a toll on your mind and one line which concludes it well is that it seems as "Life Is Beautiful" and so is your poem too!
so at the end of it, I liked this poem very much.It rings a bell for sure in my heart.See my predilection for melodramas of my life too.I am an incorrigible show-off, you know that!
Regards
Vikas Srivastava
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